"Carpe Diem..."

I'm rather an anti-New Year's resolution kind girl. When January comes along, there is a sense of new beginnings, but most of those feelings just spring from clearing out the Christmas decorations and putting them away.  For me, January is not much different than other months that signal some sort of change. September, for instance, was the month that school started -  a new wardrobe plus anticipation of seeing old friends again and the arrival of Fall, my favorite season. The month of May meant that summer was just around the corner. Each season had a beginning and provided the backdrop for some sort of personal rebirth or change.

Three days into January 2015, the decorations haven't been returned to their storage containers, I'm 5 pounds over my goal, my house is a fright and I haven't "exercised" in 6 months. You didn't get a holiday card or letter from me, as I didn't send any...not one. 

In short, there are a lot of things that come to mind if I were a New Year's resolution kinda girl, but I'm  not.  However, I am the queen of list makers. I'm sure it has a lot to do with advancing age...forget the fact that I've been making to-do lists my whole life. I make lists whenever I'm having a dinner party, whenever I go shopping or whenever my brain goes into overload thinking about all the things I "need" to accomplish.

So leaving the whole New Year's resolution thing behind, I'd rather just "memorialize" my list of things that I want to do this year...things that I want to be better at...things that might make my life more meaningful.

• I want to be a better friend - the kind that actually makes a lunch date rather than a "hug,hug, kiss kiss, let's do lunch" non-committal kind of friend.  (Hey if you really don't intend to follow through, Laurel,  then don't say it.)

• I want to "let go" more - I want to stop worrying about things I can't control and creating mountains out of molehills, if only in my overly analytical brain. (Just because you don't say it out loud doesn't mean you should be thinking it, girl!)

• I want to be more about others and less about me - that doesn't even require an explanation.

• I want to to procrastinate less - it's not enough to just MAKE a list of things to do, you have to get down and get it done. (Otherwise don't put it on the list, Laurel, if you don't intend to follow through)

• I want to learn to be still - take time to sit quietly a little more, to perhaps meditate or pray more...or even actually READ during the day, instead of falling asleep with the book still in my hands. (Maybe even finish a chapter, Laurel?) 

• I want to be stronger - if I don't start walking or something I'm going to fall down and break a hip, go into a nursing home and then die.  Just kidding - I'm not that old...but I am weaker than I should be.

• I want to need less - less impulsive buying, less comfort food, less spending, less stuff. (Do you even know the meaning of sacrifice, Laurel??)

• I want to be more present - I have spent the last 30 years of my life perfecting multitasking. Even in retirement, I can't seem to shake the need to be efficient. I want to live more in the moment and focus and ENJOY what's happening around me or what I'm doing at that moment.

• I want to finish well - we all have a time clock on our lives, and though my genes tell me that I have years to go, I want them to be meaningful....giving back, sharing, making a difference in the lives of the people around me.

So, no resolutions. No promises. No commitments.  No accountability. Just a list of "dreams" whilst I sit hit sipping coffee and thinking about how I can repack all that Christmas stuff away this weekend. The morning is chilly, the decaffeinated (a real resolution!) coffee is warming my heart and I am feeling blessed.

Laurel. Carpe diem.