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Sunday, July 10, 2011

10 Things I'd Rather Do Than Seam a Sweater!


They say that knitting is a great activity for those of us who have anxious, worrying personalities. And since I can make a mountain out of a molehill in approximately 3.5 seconds, it does seem to calm my spirit in periods of mental chaos and turmoil. I love to knit. I love wearing the things that I make, though they would never win a blue ribbon by any really good knitter's standards. It still pleases me.

But today I must face the inevitable point all knitters reach after making the cute little sleeves, enormous back, and stylish fronts of a new sweater: If you want to wear it, you have to sew it together. The "Mattress Stitch" - the two worst words in the knitter's vocabulary. Maybe some people get some kind of sick joy out of seaming together a sweater, but I am not one of those people. I hate it. I dread it.

I heard from a friend of mine that she just pays someone to "put it together for her". That's a great solution if you're a good knitter. But I couldn't stand the shame of passing on my sleeve with the big knot on the wrong side, or the the left front that doesn't exactly match the right one, or the back that had a rather irregular gauge going on until I reached my pearling stride 20 rows up.

So, I'll just gut it up and get going. But as I was thinking on this beautiful Sunday morning how I wanted to finish this sweater for my Mom before we take off for Seattle, and my mind wandered to all the things I'd rather do today than seam a sweater. Like for instance:


  1. Have a root canal


  2. Dig a drainage ditch with a wooden spoon


  3. Iron clothes


  4. Walk accross Death Valley in my bare feet


  5. Eat dirt


  6. Eat liver


  7. Peel a lug of over ripe peaches in the hot sun


  8. Put on snow chains in a blizzard


  9. Drive across West Texas


  10. Undergo Chinese water torture

Did I mention that I'm a great procrastinator too? Time's a wasting, Laurel. Get to it.
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