Monday, December 12, 2016

Requiem for Facebook

I've been mulling over a personal change for over almost a year. I'm saying goodbye to Facebook. I know, it sounds like a drastic action for a self-admitted social media junkie for the past 10 years, but I fear my FB relationship with "me" has become toxic over the years. I will be 70 in 2017 and I am weary of the inner strife that trying to please others has brought me, and FB is just a painful daily reminder.  I think it's time to grow up.

It hit me like a slap in the face in the wee hours of the morning.  I woke up with my ear buds still in my ears - playing nothing, I might add (as is my Pandora habit), I turned on the little iPad on my pillow to "see what's going on" with my friends in social media. It took me almost a whole 30 seconds to scan through posts of Memes, re-posts of political satire, ads for Target, and various other non-personal diatribes. There were a few cat photos (at least that's personal!), pretty scenery and inspirational messages, but for the most part, nothing.  Nothing.

You might say, perhaps a better group of friends, Laurel?  The truth is that I have many FB friends, many of whom I love dearly. I have culled that list over the years, so if you are still seeing my posts, you're still there. During the election from Hell, I stopped "Following" many, as I was exhausted trying to weed through all the vitriol and BS. Though the list is short these days of friends that I follow, I am nevertheless weary of what FB has's not YOU, it's just become a platform of sorts for what others think I want to read - I guess that's why they call it social media. I guess I just don't really care whether the Olsen twins have changed and "read here to find out why".

But more to the point on this, perhaps my last FB diatribe, I am even more weary of my tiresome addiction to combing through it everyday (several times a day) looking for what, I'm not sure. All it does is make me crabby. I already took it off my iPhone as it sucks your battery dry - is that not a great metaphor?

Compare this fruitless exercise to a stroll through my Instagram. I follow a lot of people (hundreds, in fact) on this social media site and I can scan through countless beautiful photos (and some bad ones too) from creative artists, sewists, and well, people like me. IG is short and sweet, with few ads and when you click on a hashtag/link you usually are not bombarded by ads or other links.  Sure, those IG accounts exist, but at least I have the choice to see what I want to see. It's not necessarily more "personal" than FB, but what occurred to me this morning was that it made me happy, made me smile, made me want to create, want to learn and want to inspire others.

I think it is ironic that in the same breath that I decided to close my FB account in 2017, I was inspired this morning by reading a very personal, very touching account of a friend's personal struggles this year and her hope for a better 2017. Posts like this one are few and far between, because most of us will not risk having our lives out there for everyone to see.  We hide behind memes and re-posts of others' thoughts and beliefs instead of giving others all a real piece of ourselves.  I too am just as guilty, lest you not "Like" me for what and who I truly am. And isn't that the real goal of FB - to be Liked? To be accepted? Even the marketers have that as their goal, let's be real.

Yes, let's be real. Me and my "non-confrontational, can't we all just get along and love one another, did you Like my post" self is going to give it a rest.  It's huge for me, so let's call it what it is...anyone who is facing 70 should finally NOT give a rip what anyone thinks. And you should not keep doing things that don't give you joy and zest for life.

But please know that I love you all for who you really are, for your caring hearts and brilliant minds, and not necessarily for your FB posts. Thankfully, I KNOW you better than that.

I haven't written on this blog for almost 6 months...I can't promise that I will start or be more regular with posts, although I started it because I love to write - I just got bogged down by whether I was "followed" and again, "Liked".  See? Time to get over myself!!

So, if you want to keep up with my endless photos of sewing, good food, family, places where I go, and general thoughts on life, you can find me on IG, FabricLady's blog which I ghost write, and maybe even this blog, if I get really ambitious. And if you have a great photo to share or want to chat, then by all means, pick up the phone or drop me an email.

Life is cake, laugh with friends, hug your family.  Be real...yeah and I'll probably peek to see if you liked my post, LOL!


FabricLady's Blog

My IG account @laurelsquill

Saturday, June 18, 2016

The Quest continues...

One year ago I started to walk in earnest. My goal was to get stronger - I didn't want to be one of those bent over old ladies who couldn't get themselves out of a chair.  I wasn't in terrible shape at the time, but I felt weak in so many ways. I set out on the all weather track at the local high school and found that I loved the rhythm of the oval.  I walked all summer and, much to my chagrin, they threw me off the track in late August when school started.  I continued walking with my daughter at the local Mall, but it wasn't the same.

That first mile one year ago was a little tough on the legs, and to say that I was a little winded would be an understatement. I decided to document my progress by using a stopwatch.  I have always been obsessed with track and field events and just timing myself made me feel like a "miler". 

Far from it, little grasshopper...

Fast forward - it's June again, and school is out.  The track is empty, unless of course you count the other wanna-be's out there like me. And this year I am more determined than ever to get stronger, but even more than that...I will be be 69 this August, and I want to be able to actually run a mile by my birthday. Yes, the whole mile...running.

Today on this beautiful Saturday morning, I'm back on the track.  

One year later to the day, my walking time has improved...

But I said I wanted to I've started to run as much as I can around the track 
for four laps or one mile...It's not much running so far, but here's my second mile 
and my first running attempt...

I know I'll never be a Jim Ryun, but there a lot of people even older than my 68 years who can run a lot farther than one mile.  I just want to be one of them. Stronger. Healthier. 

I finished this morning just in time for the arrival of some potential recruits...

Meanwhile...after the workout (also do lunges and stairs), a little nourishment by the pool...some proteins, carbs (yeah, I know) and morning caffeine (because "it doesn't cause cancer" now) and my "pills" - the tiny one for my blood pressure, the white one to keep the urinary track on track and the orange one (turmeric) just cuz it's supposed to be good for your liver and joints.

And then...let the games begin....

Scarves for the Women's Empowerment grads....

Laurel. Miler.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Curse

I've always wondered why such a natural process might be called a "curse". I'm referring to a woman's menses, her period. It's been given many pejorative names over the years - "ride the cotton pony", "on the rag", "leak week", and the less innocuous "my monthly friend" and "that time of the month". 

In fact, I'm kind of thinking that men have coined most of the subhuman phrases to basically devalue an albeit inconvenient but vital process for procreating humanity into perpetuity. Right down to the Donald's off color, ill-conceived and some what subliminal referral to what seemed like Ms. Kelly's period during a presidential debate, men (and women too!) have have blasted, sneered at, made fun of and grumbled over a woman's menstrual cycle through out history.  And here in our Western civilization especially, we women have largely ignored the jokes and ridicule partly because we have the "luxury" of handling our bodies conveniently and without great notice... and of course, with the help of a ceaseless array of products, pills, sprays and whatever else we might need. We breeze through our cycles and never miss a beat in our busy lives - we can "even ride bicycles and swim!" and we teach our daughters to do the same.  We don't even know the meaning of a curse.

Such is not the case in third world countries. Njeri was born in Kenya and came to the U.S. to further her education.  She is a mother, grandmother and on-fire Christian today and an active advocate for changing the lives of young girls in Africa through one means: sustainable, reusable sanitary pads.  She knows first hand the "power of the pad" because she was there.  She lived the nightmare growing up.

There are no menstrual products in most remote regions of the world.  Even if we do-gooders shipped cases of Always and Kotex products to Africa, they have no organized means of disposing them, let alone toilets to flush them (even though we know you're not supposed to do that!).  Young girls, from the first days of their period are taught how to handle their cycle but the only means available - grass, leaves, sticks, feathers, rocks and if they're lucky, mattress stuffing - anything to stay in school.  They are shunned and shamed by boys, so as a result they stay home and miss up to eight months of schooling over a three year period. Some girls have sat in a pile of dirt for those days if they have nothing to use, adding to their shame.  If they are really lucky, they have a make-shift barrier made from harsh animal skin strapped to their legs, while they stand to take tests at school. But even worse, many are forced into prostitution by men at the tender age of 11 or 12, trading sex for pads. We can't even imagine such a deplorable scenarios.

Listening to Njeri this past weekend talk about her organization's efforts to supple reusable, sustainable hygiene kits for girls in Kenya and other African countries was a real life reminder of why our sew fests have incorporated the Days for Girls ministry. Yards and yards of cotton and flannel are cut, stitched and serged into pads for girls.  A kit can last a young girl up to three years - that's three full years of education reclaimed.  These kits, as Njeri attests, can change a girls destiny.  She no longer has to skip school, she is no longer susceptible to becoming fodder for the human trafficking machine and her risk of contracting HIV is significantly lessened. She maximizes her dignity and value as a woman, increases her chances of becoming a contributing member of her community through education.

It rocked my soul to listen to Njeri.  Her words of encouragement to the sew fest ladies were moving. We ARE changing the life of a young girl somewhere on the other side of the world.  Just like our little dresses, these hygiene kits are a small sacrifice of time in order to give a girl dignity and a fighting chance for a better life. Who knew such a life could be impacted by such a small thing?

To learn more about Njeri's non-profit organization, go to Upendo Women's Foundation, which she founded. Njeri uses kits similar to those we make through our Days for Girls. Come to a Bayside sew fest and help make these life-changing kits yourself.

Laurel.  The Power of the Pad.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Just for Me...

I've been lost in the beauty of summer mornings and evenings lately, spending quiet time reflecting on my renewed efforts to live more in the moment. It's so easy for me to focus on "have to's", worries and struggles instead of doing things that bring me joy and peace.

This month marks the third anniversary of my collaboration with Suzan (aka FabricLady) and Stonemountain and Daughter Fabrics.  Zan and I have a date on the books for later this month, but today I just felt like taking the drive to Berkeley to hang out at the shop - you know, living in the moment!  Normally it's quite a frenetic bustle on our scheduled "Fit and Fun" days - I bring completed garments, we have fitting and photo sessions, we peruse the new fabrics and patterns, have lunch and I somewhere in between, I usually have a little time to shop for fabrics to add to my stash. It's fun and exciting and hectic all at the same time.

But today, I just wanted to leisurely stroll the aisles, to see what might jump out at me.  I also spent some time talking with Tilden Yamamoto, an Oakland designer who was doing a sewing demo in a sunny window of the shop. It was cool to watch another sewist/designer's "process".

Zan's young and hip buyers at Stonemountain are bringing in the most unique fabrics these days- shelves of double gauze that had me drooling...ikats by the dozens all begging me "pick me!" I must have been thinking about the beauty of nature, as everything that caught my eye today was green.

And that's what I came home with....they are like little works of art.

Yummy double gauze - a Scout tee? And a summer dress?
 I need a little shift to wear by the pool...Love this ikat!!  
Think I'll use the batik to create a facing around the neck and armholes.

And let's pick up a couple of Indie patterns...

Love View B...probably use that double gauze tiny print above

It was a wonderful few hours in Bay...right up until the traffic on the way home.  Oh well...a day at Stonemountain with Zan and the staff is worth a couple of hours of frantic Friday drivers.

Can't wait to dive into these projects!!

Laurel. Are you "Green with envy"?

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Sew busy....

My blog writing has suffered these past couple of months. It's times like this that I begin to question my propensity toward over-commitment....too many balls in the air? The problem is that I love everything I'm doing. We over-achievers are like that, thinking we can do it all, have it all.

Can we?  You tell me.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

"Celeste" - The Jacket, Part 2

I remember when I used to make a wedding gown, I would ponder for days, even weeks, before I would actually cut a thread of an expensive satin or lace.  I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about the pattern, the order of assembly, a particular technique that I would need to use. Hours of planning, mentally obsessing about the gown...and then one day I would just jump in and start cutting.

Making a couture jacket has been no different for me. It has been hard to get it out of my head these past two months, and yet I had not moved forward to take the first steps. Fear? Not really. It's just that the techniques for Claire Schaeffer's Chanel-styled jacket are polar opposite to the way that I have learned to sew. Daunting is perhaps a better word.

In every couture garment process the making of a muslin is absolutely essential.  And since I have made many a muslin for myself and FabricLady, it was a breeze to use the pattern in a traditional way. And so began "Celeste" - made of humble muslin fabric, all to check the pattern for fit, BEFORE I actually cut in her wool.

I cut the pattern pieces exactly as they were designed for my "size". Patterns have changed over the years...I used to be a perfect 12, but these days, I need a Vogue 16 to fit my busty size. I then sewed it together in the traditional manner: princess seams, side and shoulder seams, then sleeves.

The jacket was still a little small around the bust.  I discovered that the side panel under the sleeve was designed to be smaller than I would have normally done - the seams on the three-piece sleeves should match the seams on the jacket under the arm, and they didn't. So to alter the jacket around the bust line, I just made the side panel wider to match the sleeve seams.  Voila! It fit!

I dismantled the whole muslin thinking I would use it for my final pattern pieces and there it sat for several weeks. I again lay awake nights trying to figure out how I was going to transfer all those markings to my fabrics.  Muslin is not transparent (duh!). After some research on various marking techniques, I decided on tracing paper - it's a little more sturdy than pattern tissue. So finally, after weeks of brain drain I was ready to begin Celeste.

The tracing paper pattern pieces have all the 5/8" seam allowances removed, as described in Ms. Schaeffer's technique. (Don't forget that you have to get her book if you want to sew your jacket using her couture techniques, as the Vogue Pattern instructions describe the traditional assembly process.)

And something else I'm not used to doing when I start a garment - cutting ONE section at a time, rather than cutting out ALL the pieces, all the linings and interfacing in one sitting.  I started with the jackets fronts...just because Ms. S. does so in her book.

I cut my large rectangles of wool and silk organza and then settled into a make shift table top in my comfy easy chair by the window, where I had envisioned myself doing all that intricate hand sewing. I used a couple of different colors of thread to do my markings. (I eventually scrapped the recommended white thread as I could barely see it.)

After thread marking of the entire parameter of the jacket front, I marked and hand stitched the organza interfacing to the wool and basted the quilting lines. I then machine sewed the quilting line, using a 4mm running stitch. (Remember that I had checked out the quilting lines in the real Chanel RTW jackets in the Nieman's Chanel salon and found they were done with a machine, rather than hand stitched) So I guess Celeste won't be considered "Haute Couture", as her fabric has been touched with a machine presser foot and needle.  Oh well.

The final quilting line is hard to see, but that's the point.  It's just meant to help the jacket hold it's shape better and keep the fabric from pulling away from the lining - not be a design element.

I spent a little over four hours on Celeste yesterday, largely because I thread traced on side of the jacket in the same direction as the other side - whoopsie - the two fronts should be a mirror image! At any rate, it was great to actually get in there and start sewing.  I'll be finishing the two fronts, marking the button holes, adding some stay tape, and maybe even starting the hand sewn buttonholes.

Until then.

Laurel. Just do it.

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Ultimate Sewing Pinnacle - Chanel

At some point in a sewist's life of creativity, a deep yearning for a couture garment arises.  Whether she acts upon that urge to create a sewn masterpiece or talks herself down from the whole scary proposition is directly proportional to the no-fear, self-confidence and inner crazy inside her.

I have sewn many a wedding gown and tailored a few coats in my lifetime, but I can't say that I've truly made a garment worthy of being called couture.  I joined the American Sewing Guild several months ago, largely because they had a small neighborhood group designated as the "Couture Group".  I imagined that at the very least it would be a group a women who probably sewed as well as myself and at best, I would be able to pick the brains of some incredible sewists better than myself.  Either way, I would be inspired to create!

So began this journey into couture sewing and the world of Chanel. To a sewist, the classic Chanel jacket is a masterpiece of design and hand sewn Nirvana.  For Mr. Lagerfeld and his haute couture team, a Chanel jacket is the culmination of over 130 hours of painstaking care in every seam and stitch. Their techniques are closely guarded and unless you fork over the $4 - 5K to buy one yourself and rip it apart, you will only get bits and pieces of his genius.  To make such a garment is the height of accomplishment for any sewist.  And I am no different - I have to say "I did it", before old lady impatience and bad eyesight get the best of me.

Ms. Claire Schaeffer is a Chanel addict/collector, and fortunately for us run of the mill hoi-polloi, she is a Vogue pattern designer: hence, a Chanel - styled jacket for the masses.  So I will start with her and take you on a journey with "us" in my blog, making my first ever couture garment.

Vogue pattern in hand.... 

Her book ordered Amazon...

Watching and re-watching the DVD...taking notes

I had several pieces of wool fabric to choose from: 1) a beautiful wool that I picked up from Britex the year that retired from SureWest and I vowed at that time to make something special.  It's been in my stash ever since; and 2) a lovely soft grey tweedy wool with some metallic threads that I picked up from Stomemountain that I was going to make into a swing coat.  At first I thought I would go with the Britex wool, but in the end, my shiny crow-like personality decided that a jacket with gold threads would absolutely compliment my skinny jeans (yep, that's what I plan to wear my couture jacket with!)

 There is no other fabric lining choice for a couture garment than silk. I'm using a beautiful Silk Charmeuse...a lightweight fabric woven with a satin weave, in which the warp threads cross over three or more of the backing weft threads - technical talk that just says the front of the fabric has a smooth finish—lustrous and reflective—whereas the back has a dull finish. Stonemoutain And Daughter Fabrics in Berkeley CA (you already know it's my favorite store!) has such a huge selection it was hard to choose, but I landed on this one - who doesn't look beautiful in peach, even if it is on the inside?

The interfacing on a Chanel jacket is also critical.  Even though I own yards of fusible pellon and woven interfacing, using any version of self-sticking interfacing would be like making "a purse from a sow's ear" - suffice it to say, a ghastly faux pas in the world of couture! And thus, I spare no expense, and go right for the silk organza. Either of these amazing fabrics is not found at any Joanne's or Hancock's that I've ever been get your big girl panties on and make the trip to Berkeley.

The only thing perhaps more important than choosing quality fabrics is choosing the right trim and buttons. Chanel jackets have all manner of trim designs and materials. The jacket styles of today are now as varied as any haute couture designer's runway showing, but Coco's classic designs have withstood the test of time - they are as fashionable today as they were decades ago. The only way to truly capture the essence of their genius is to actually go look at them, up close and personal.

I would have posted pictures here, but alas, that too is a no-no. I strolled through Neiman Marcus' Chanel boutique, lifted a few hemlines, fondled a few sleeves and asked for a photo of the salon.  And since I don't know Mr Lagerfeld personally to ask his permission, NO Iphone pics for me!  I totally respect that.  The sweet salesman did ask if I wanted to try one on...I chickened out. I have an aversion to trying on garments that I have no intention of buying - like I have an extra $4 grand in my checking account!
The salesman thought Karl might be filming the salon with hidden security cameras (joke)!

Across the street from Neimans and a few steps away from a Chanel store is Britex, a five or six floor mecca of expensive fabrics, trims and all things sewing.  I used to shop in it regularly...until I found Stonemountain.  But they do boast a huge selection of trims, so it's worth the drive over the Bay Bridge and into the massive traffic snarl of Downtown San Fransisco.

I spent over two hours, pulling trims, ribbons and buttons. And after all that contemplation and discussion (everyone on the floor had an opinion!) I opted to pair a trim with what would be a self-made trim using the selvage edge of my wool fabric. A little chain for the hem, some trim and buttons and my purchases for this jacket are complete...maybe...

I'll probably watch that DVD have to get the entire sewing "process" clear in your brain before you start cutting, mainly because Ms Schaeffer's pattern instructions detail the "traditional" assembly process that I know backwards and forward, but her couture technique is something I have never done before. It's not intuitive for an old school seamstress, but a process that I'm already starting to obsess over in the wee hours of a fitful sleep. And I haven't even cut an inch of fabric yet.

Just for the heck of it, I will track my hours and $$ spent making my jacket.  I can't help but wonder if my time investment will rival that of the couture houses that do this all the time.  Of course, I don't have any little sweat-shop helpers armed with needles and thimbles...just me.

So, on to my "toile" - that's a muslin to you and me - if it doesn't "FIT" right, then it's not worth making.

I shall name her Celeste. Heavenly.

  Laurel. Channelling Chanel.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Sharing a Laugh...

Image result for powerballReal Life is not winning a Power ball Ticket. But I bought one anyway. There’s a hefty number of shrinks who will tell us all that “it’s gambling”, “it’s the thrill of it”, etc. that keeps us buying those little orange tickets. I would agree with most of that over-analyzing, but I don’t feel guilty for falling prey to the hype of winning a billion dollars.

My Mom and I sat in a Chinese restaurant last week and made a pack to buy two tickets using our the numbers from our recently opened fortune cookies. We would split the billion in half. We shook on it. Sounds relatively innocuous for a lunch time topic, but what ensued after that was far from our normal days together.

We laughed. And laughed again. And again – coming up with all the things we were going to do with our winnings. My Mom and I used to laugh all the time over silly things, but as we have both aged, it doesn’t seem to happen that we act like high school freshman, giggling and belly-laughing at our own humor. Ours was an irreverent humor that we shared, laced with sarcasm and cynicism, often totally ridiculous and usually not PC.

If I listed all the things she said, you would probably yawn…it was clearly one of those moments where “ya had to be there” to laugh now. As we were driving over the bridge to Marysville, she dead panned “I know, I’ll buy Marysville”.  If you grew up in Marysville, a town surrounded by a levy system that is stagnating because of  it’s non-growth and old school politics, you’d get how funny that was.  At another point in the car, she told me that even if we one $4 dollars, she wanted her half…because she needed some stamps. I was dying! I told her for a million bucks I would manage her money for her, which sent her off into a coughing fit. And I reminded her that when she croaked, I would still get more money that she did, as I would inherit my "daughter's" share of her estate.

It wasn’t so much the notion that we had a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, it’s that it was a “good” day.  Mom is soon to be 91 and she said that day that she’s starting to “feel” old. We have our shopping days together every two weeks, and usually talk about innocuous things. I bring her up to speed with the going-on with the kids and their families, etc. 

She’s from a different era than I, lived in the country the better part of her whole life. We have the typical mother-daughter issues that I have spent years trying to overcome. I pretty much avoid the tricky topics (I leave those to Dave who adores his occasional porch-side political chats with her). I guess I hadn’t realized that we hadn’t laughed a lot together in years like we used to...until we laughed together over Power Ball. The price of the ticket was worth it.

It was a good day. Even if we didn’t win.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

If you don't write it down...

Does it still count as a resolution? Well, last year I wrote down my dreams for 2015 (Carpe Diem) on this very day and I still didn't do very well at achieving much success, so I'm thinking "not".  But it's the same day in January and I feel that a couple of thoughts might be worth noting (or not):

1) Let Go. Period. Really. Maybe I should get Amy's tattoo...

2) Let creativity rule.

Yep, that's it. 

I am looking forward to more wrapping my head around sewing and creating this year and more letting go of old habits. I'm not really talking about healthy eating, less drinking, more exercising or any of those hackneyed, trite promises that we make in January (although, aren't they a given?). I just want to surrender this whole beautiful mess that I am to someone who has that power to change it, because, obviously, I don't. So I'll leave the whole body/mind/soul thing up to God and I'll focus on the good stuff that I can control:

1) Continued collaboration with the team at Stonemountain and my muse, Zan. May we create more magic in fabric this year, FabricLady!!!

2) Less Facebook and more Instagram!! I love all the sewists and designers and fellow creatives that I have discovered on Instagram.

3) Organize and divest, organize and divest. All things simple, easy, clean, fresh, etc.

4) Continued giving of my time to worthwhile stuff...Dress a Girl, Women's Empowerment.

I finally got to actually sew at yesterday's sew fest

More of this...

And this..

Maybe less of this...

Let's not get carried away, Laurel.  You know you won't do that.
A little more of this...

Maybe more of this?

No, I'm not becoming a drinker...but a tiny sip of this is pretty nice.
Definitely more of this...

Taking better care of me, inside and out.
And this...

Capturing life...

And finally, most definitely less of this...

It's going to be a great year...

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