Be Still My Sugared Mind

I woke up in a fog this morning, my head pounding from lack of sugar. I'm trying to stick to my Whole 30 healthy eating, even if it's only for a week...just to prove to myself that I can still go one week without sugar and wine.

Last night Dave and I were talking about how much we think about food. So much of our idyllic life centers around planning the next meal, worrying about our wine stock, and thinking about where our next dinner or lunch out will be. Rather shameful considering the millions of people who go to sleep NOT worrying about their waistlines but how they will survive another day without starving to death.

When I try to be a healthier eater, it's funny how my mind becomes fixated on what I "can't" have. They say that your body tells you what it needs, so I guess since all I can think about is that marble cake from SusieCakes, maybe my body cells actually NEED that sugar? Probably not.

Yesterday, I was bored and I thought about I going downtown to an art gallery to pick up a little ceramic cake slice that was featured on a Facebook page.  It was only $23 and I thought it would be clever sitting on my kitchen counter.  I knew that I didn't need any artwork (we're on a new austere budget around here), so I wrestled with myself about going. When push came to shove, I had to admit that what I REALLY wanted was to get out, walk in the sunshine and get a cappuccino in a favorite coffee shop...and maybe sneak next door and get some marble cake.

 

Kudos to me, I resisted the strong impulse to waste gas, talked myself out of the artwork and made myself an espresso with my little Peet's drip cone at home. I bought it at Peet's last week when I was having another cappuccino craving, and since I'm trying not to do dairy, those are out too...along with the cube of brown sugar.

I have to admit that I was shocked when I took a hard look at our food and alcohol expenditures in any given month. Hence, the new budget. So is it that I feel deprived all of a sudden, not being able to pop over to the meat market anytime I please that makes me hungry all the time?  Or is it the extra 5 pounds and rebellious innards that brought on this re commitment to healthier eating that makes me feel like I am living in the midst of a famine? Or am I just plain self-absorbed and pouting because I can't have it all...me thinks the latter. It is unfair that we can't put whatever we want into our bodies without it getting cranky, fat and sick. 

So it's Saturday and I should go to the Farmer's market to pick up some fruits and veggies.  My customary routine was to couple it with a trip to Trader Joe's to pick up a few things that the farmers didn't have...AND a trip to Starbucks or Peet's for a mocha. See what I mean?  I am sugar obsessed right now...and I'm off caffeine. Double headache!! But if I give it a few more days, this too shall pass and I will be cured...maybe.

Think I'll go fry an egg or too...place it lovingly on a bed of ham and sweet potato...and get over myself. People are starving out there, Laurel.

P.S. It's good to know that eggs are "okay" to eat now...like I was going to give them up?

Laurel. Everything in moderation.